Headlines that make me guffaw

Actually, the sound was more like a loud, spontaneous “PFFFFT,” but I don’t think there’s a verb for that.

“Xinhua scoffs at bickering West”

Xinhua News Agency attacked Western democracy as divisive and confrontational and praised the harmony and cooperative nature of the Chinese system on the eve of the congress.

“Unlike competitive, confrontational Western politics, the CPC and non- Communist parties cooperate with each other, working together for the advancement of socialism and striving to improve the people’s standard of living,” it said.

Did you know that there are other parties besides the Communist Party of China (CPC)? Indeed, there are eight: Revolutionary Committee of the Chinese Kuomintang (RCCK); China Democratic League (CDL); China Democratic National Construction Association (CDNCA); China Association for Promoting Democracy (CAPD); Chinese Peasants’ [yes] and Workers’ Democratic Party (CPWDP); China Zhi Gong Party (CZGP); Jiusan Society; and the Taiwan Democratic Self-Governing League (TDSGL).

They compete, of course, in free and fair elections.

Xinhua said that under the leadership of the party, Chinese-style democracy has never been in better shape.

“China has absolutely no need to import the failing party political systems of other countries,” it said.

“After several hundred years, the Western model is showing its age. It is high time for profound reflection on the ills of a doddering democracy which has precipitated so many of the world’s ills and solved so few.”

All snark aside, the potshots at Western democracy aren’t even that far off. It’s just that Chinese state media has a way of phrasing things that’s literally funny. I mean that as a complement.

“Doddering democracy which has precipitated so many of the world’s ills and solved so few” – This is good rhetoric.

Nothing surpasses this description of Britain by the Global Times, though:

The Cameron administration should acknowledge that the UK is not a big power in the eyes of the Chinese. It is just an old European country apt for travel and study. This has gradually become the habitual thought of the Chinese people.

It occurs to me that we may be living through a Golden Age of international trolling.

Well, that answers that

From Hong Kong rag The Standard:

When news broke that British politician and human rights activist Benedict Rogers was refused entry at Hong Kong International Airport, I suspected our Immigration Department didn’t make the decision, but carried out an order from a higher authority.

It’s now perfectly clear the decision had come down from Beijing. It’s simply stunning.

Rogers was quoted by an internet news website as saying the Chinese embassy back home in London had warned him via a third party, after it learned about his plan to visit the former Crown colony. The third party reportedly relayed the embassy’s concern that Rogers may visit the student leaders serving jail sentences for their leading roles in protests. Later, he was told his SAR trip would impair the Sino-British relationship, so he would be denied entry.

The Foreign Ministry was straightforward about it. Yesterday, the blunt statement by a spokeswoman was basically related to two points: one, Beijing retains the authority to decide who can come to Hong Kong; and two, Rogers was barred because of fears he would intervene with the SAR’s internal affairs and judicial system. In hindsight, Chief Executive Carrie Lam Cheng Yuet-ngor’s response prior to the spokeswoman’s statement appeared to be redundant. […]

The issue is that while the decision was made by some policymakers in Beijing, it did more harm than good to Hong Kong, because one of the SAR’s greatest assets is its international reputation, which makes the place distinct from other mainland cities.

The move was like throwing rocks into waters that Hong Kong’s leader is struggling to calm.

I think a little bit of reciprocity is in order. Is there any reason, at this point, not to respond in kind by having the next visitor from the PRC politely turned back at Heathrow customs?

From Yiwu to London

China’s rail empire expands:

China has launched a direct rail freight service to London, as part of its drive to develop trade and investment ties with Europe.

China Railway already runs services between China and other European cities, including Madrid and Hamburg.

The train will take about two weeks to cover the 12,000 mile journey and is carrying a cargo of clothes, bags and other household items.

It has the advantage of being cheaper than air freight and faster than sea.

The proliferation of routes linking China and Europe is part of a strategy launched in 2013 aimed at boosting infrastructure links with Europe along the former Silk Road trading routes.

The old Silk Road didn’t go all the way to London

Incidentally, the route starts in the city of Yiwu, Zhejiang province, which I have not visited but which boasts the world’s largest wholesale market for cheap crap (Chinese media claims that more than 60% of the world’s Christmas decorations are made in Yiwu):

Where Christmas is made

This is another big achievement for China’s Eurasian infrastructure and trade strategy, annoyingly called “One Belt, One Road.”