This made me chuckle:
I wake up every morning at 4 AM and go for a 10 mile run followed by an hour lifting weights.
I try my best to read the local newspaper and at least 1/4 of a book before I leave for work at 8.
I have completely cut out meats, veggies, and fruits from my diet because I don’t want to damage anything on earth. I eat 100% Soylent.
During my lunch break I build houses for the homeless and then hire them at my job as a public service.
I answer no less than 300 emails an hour… all personalized.
Before I leave work I remind my friends that LinkedIn isn’t a dating site in case they forget.
After work I instruct hot/cold yoga in a room-temperature room… right before I head off to provide my spiritual advice to local religious leaders.
I am currently writing my 10th book.
I also created the Fidget Spinner.
I am the most interesting person on LinkedIn.
The good life. In fact, the best life that one can aspire to. Right?