Of that we can be reasonably certain:
Russian President Vladimir Putin has labelled poisoned ex-Russian spy Sergei Skripal a “traitor” and a “scumbag”.
In a speech, he complained that the media were treating Mr Skripal as “some kind of human rights defender”, insisting he had betrayed his country.
Mr Skripal and his daughter survived an attack in Salisbury, which the UK says was carried out by two agents of Russian military intelligence.
But a British woman died in another poisoning that police say was linked.
UK authorities believe Mr Skripal’s door in the southern English city was targeted with the nerve agent Novichok.
It was sprayed from a modified perfume bottle that was later picked up and given to Dawn Sturgess, who died in July, they say.
Last month, President Putin insisted that the suspects named by UK police were civilians not criminals, and urged them to come forward. They later gave a televised interview.
Now, this doesn’t prove that Putin had him poisoned, of course, although the evidence appears to point in that direction. But then there’s this strange report that Skripal himself rules out the idea of Moscow’s involvement:
The former employee of the Russian Main Intelligence Directorate (GRU), who was poisoned in Salisbury, UK, said he does not believe that the Russian special services could have been involved in the attempted murder. He said this in a statement to BBC journalist Mark Urban, who published an excerpt of the conversation in his book called The Skripal Files.
The reporter was able to talk to Skripal when the ex-colonel regained consciousness. The book says that the intelligence officer had to go through a difficult process of psychological adaptation.
Urban claims that Skripal refused to believe in the Kremlin’s involvement in what happened. Moreover, the former GRU colonel said he supported Russia’s policy, such as the reunification of the Crimea and Russia. However, Skripal did not say what his theory was regarding the incident.
And then there is the absolutely bizarre, hilarious televised interview mentioned above, in which the two poisoning suspects protest their innocence to RT. It really needs to be seen (or read) to be believed:
What were Petrov and Boshirov doing in the UK?
Petrov: Our friends have been recommending that we visit this wonderful city for a long time already.
Boshirov: It’s a touristic city. There’s a famous cathedral there, the Salisbury cathedral. It’s famous not just in all of Europe, it’s famous all over the world I think. It’s famous for its 123-metre spire, it’s famous for its clock, the first clock made in the world that still runs.
Petrov: In fact, we planned to go to London and let loose, so to speak, it wasn’t a business trip. We planned to go to London and in Salisbury in one day. In England on March 2 and March 3 there was a transport collapse – snow so powerful – we couldn’t get back.
Petrov: We were there three days. We came on March 2, we looked at the train schedule.
Boshirov: We planned to go for one day and look around. Salisbury is a normal touristic city.
Petrov: We came to Salisbury on the March 3, we were there for, we tried to walk around the city, but since the city was covered in snow, we were able to only for a half an hour, we got wet.
Boshirov: No media, no TV channels are showing that on that day, the third, there was a collapse in that city, a snow collapse, it was impossible to go anywhere, we got wet to the knees.
Petrov: Of course we went to visit Stonehenge, Old Sarum, the cathedral of the Virgin Mary, but it didn’t work out because it was slush, as we’d say in Russian, total slush. We got wet, returned to the train station and went back on the next train.
What did they do in Salisbury?
Boshirov: We were drinking hot coffee because we had gotten all wet, on the third we spent no more than an hour there.
Petrov: The trains were going with big gaps because of the transport collapse, we went back to London and continued our travels.
Boshirov: We walked around London. On the third yes (an hour in Salisbury).
Petrov: It wasn’t possible to go anywhere. On March 4 we returned because London had thawed out, it was warm weather.
Boshirov: The sun was shining.
Petrov:We wanted to visit Old Sarum and the cathedral, we decided to finish this task on March 4. To visit them.
Boshirov: To see this famous cathedral, to look at Old Sarum. We saw them.
Petrov: On March 4 we saw them, but again around lunch snow started, that’s why we left early.
Boshirov: The cathedral is very beautiful, there are lots of tourists there, there are lots of Russian tourists, there are lots of Russian-speaking tourists there.
Petrov: There should be many photographs (with us). Of course we took pictures.
Boshirov: We were sitting in the park, we were sitting in a cafe and drinking coffee. We were walking around and enjoying this English Gothic, this beauty.
Petrov: For some reason they’re not showing this. They’re only showing us at the train station.
Did they visit Sergei Skripal’s house?
Petrov: Maybe we went by there.
Boshirov: Do you know where the Skripals’ home is? I don’t.
Petrov: If we would have known where it was.
Boshirov: Maybe we passed by it, maybe we didn’t pass by it, I don’t know, I hadn’t heard. I hadn’t heard this surname, I didn’t know anything about them before this situation, this nightmare with us started.
Did they have Novichok in a perfume bottle?
Petrov: I think this is total nonsense.
On and on it goes, like a bad Coen brothers movie. A total PR disaster for these guys and for Putin. I thought Russian intelligence operatives were supposed to be smart? What is going on here?
The complexities and unknowns of the Skripal affair are way above my pay grade, but it is entertaining to watch.